how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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