Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
