moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
