if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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