I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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