he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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