ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
