i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
