If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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