You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
