god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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