Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize