White coat. Heels.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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