So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
