I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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