he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
