dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
do nipples grow back?
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