If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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