dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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