Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize