i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
