this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
