I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
