No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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