I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize