Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize