Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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