Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
