I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
