It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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