ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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