Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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