just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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