So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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