i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
