the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
