We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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