i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
