So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
