just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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