I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
