Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
