quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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