Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
