i just had sex bonerless
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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