Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
