The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
