I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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