Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
