you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
