Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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