i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
