I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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