that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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