White coat. Heels.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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