Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
