I love black thongs
high people should be assigned attendants
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
