Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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