i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
