Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
