but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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