Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
