Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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