k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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