If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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