im about as happy as oj after his trial
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
