I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
