Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
