dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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