she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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