I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
