I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
